My Heart is Longing for You
by Super-sonic Iblish
Summary: Rachel is sick, in the hospital. She is probably going to die, but not before Silver's saved. Silver goes to church for Rachel's sake... but will it help? Warning: Strong Christianity reference, don't like, don't read!
1. Chapter 1

My Heart Is Longing For You

(Copyright: I do not own the Sonic crew, yadda yadda yadda! They belong to Sega. I do own Rachel and Riu the wolves, and sorry but, Silver may seem a bit OOC. Also, the song "This is Home" by Switchfoot is mentioned. I, obviously, do not own this song, it belongs to the band Switchfoot.)

Warning, does contain major Christianity references. Don't like, then don't read!

It's in Silver's POV, btw! K, bai! :)

I drove like a maniac, trying to get to the hospital in time. I was so lucky I didn't run into any cops, or I'd have gotten a ticket for sure! My vision was becoming blurry, as the tears built up in my eyes and dripped onto the steering wheel. I'd just heard the news from Shadow, and I could feel my heart throb when I thought about Rachel dying. I quickly wiped at my watery eyes, as to regain my vision, and spoke.

"God, please be with her," I whispered, hoping maybe he'll save her. I turned a sharp corner and screeched to a halt in the hospital parking lot. Honestly, I don't believe I've ever driven that insane in my life! I got out of the car and ran for the double doors. My cell phone rang in my pocket while I was still in the lot; I whipped it open in a panic, still briskly running into the building. It was Sonic, probably calling to see where I was. I pressed talk and spoke, not even bothering to say hello.

"Yes... Yes I'm here! I'll be right there!" I said into the phone, and hung up. I came up to the front desk, and the woman at the desk looked up at me. She could probably see the sadness and urgency in my eyes.

"I'm here to see Rachel," I said.

"You must be Silver the hedgehog," the woman said. "Your friend Sonic told me you'd be here soon. She's on the 1st floor, room 215." I nodded a quick thank you and rushed down the hall.

I quickly located the room and burst inside. Sonic, Sasha, Riu, Shadow, and Amy stood in the wing right before the room, and they looked up at me with sad eyes when I entered. I came right up to them, and could see their fear as well as they could probably see mine. I panted slightly, and my stomach tied in knots as they looked at me with tearstained eyes.

"She's in there," Riu said quietly, gesturing to the room.

I slowly walked into the hospital room. It smelled of sanitization chemicals, foreboding bleeping of her heart monitor filled the air. I looked down at her hospital bed, and saw Rachel lying flat, looking quite sickly. A bag with some kind of fluid in it was hanging next to her bed, and it was attached to a tube that flowed into her wrist. She had her eyes closed and her arms folded on top of her chest peacefully; she was asleep. I looked at her, smiling. I know it was a strange notion, but I was just glad that she was still alive when I got there. I slowly walked up to her bed, knelt beside it, and took one of her frail hands in mine. It felt so cold and lifeless, bringing a lump to my throat. Then, Rachel stirred and aroused from her slumber. She blinked a few times then looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes.

"Hi Rachel," I said, trying to put on my best "I'm not worried" facade. I gulped down the rising lump in my throat and spoke again. "How're you feeling?"

Damn, what a stupid question! She's lying in a hospital bed, inches from death, and I ask her "How you feeling?" I scolded myself, but then I looked back at her, waiting for her answer. She smiled weakly, and gripped my hand in hers.

"I'm not scared," she said, not quite answering my question. She took in a deep breath, closing her eyes, then reopened them and looked at me. "I'm not scared about dying," she simply repeated. I could feel tears creeping into my eyes again.

"How could you say something like that?" I cried. "How can you not be afraid?" I began to get worked up, and I didn't care if the others were watching and listening. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I continued. "The doctors say you're probably going to die! What else is there to fear that's worse than death?"

Rachel gave me an almost quizzical look at first, saying nothing for a few moments. Then, she spoke, with such sincerity in her voice, it gave me chills.

"What I fear right now is not dying, but the possibility that I'll never see you again," she said. I was so confused; what could she mean by that?

"Huh? I-I don't understand," I stammered. Rachel's grip tightened on my hand, so much so that her hand began to shiver and her knuckles turned white.

"I tried to make it my goal to bring you to Christ. And I know if I do die, then I'll go to heaven. But you..." she paused for a moment, then started a different sentence.

"Promise me," she said, "That you'll go to my church this Sunday? I want to be able to see you again."

I looked at her, at her sickly, pleading eyes. I knew she was serious here, and it only made my heart throb more. I'd already asked God to heal her, but he's done nothing! However, I sighed and spoke, relative to what I thought.

"If it'll let God heal you," I said quietly. Rachel suddenly looked like she'd been struck in the face. She swallowed, and appeared to be holding back tears.

"I never said that," Rachel said sternly. "This is God's plan for me. He'll save me if it's his will. Praying will always help the situation, but unless it's God's will for me to live, it won't matter how many people pray for me," she said. "What I want is for you to love Him the way I love Him. I want to be able to see you happy! Please, give Him a chance, for me!" I thought it over for a moment. If prayer wouldn't save Rachel's life, then what was the point? How would praying help, if it doesn't help? I was so confused!

Rachel coughed slightly, and I gently stroked her head to calm her.

She said something about being able to see me again if I did accept Christ; was she meaning Heaven? I wasn't even sure if Heaven existed, but I wanted to be with Rachel. I mean, it couldn't hurt to try once... If it'll make Rachel happy, and let me see her again.

"Sure... I'll go," I finally told her. "I'll go to church." I could already see her eyes light up, and gain a more lifelike glow in them. It made me happy to see her happy.

"Thank you," she said. "I already know, God is going to do wonderful things through you, and he is dancing with joy in the heavens, right now," she said, and she extended her arms upward for a hug. I hugged her, though my mind buzzed with a million questions and thoughts. Suddenly, a single thought, different from the others, popped into my mind. "What've you gotten yourself into?"

Later on that day, I was talking with Riu. He and I were the only two who stayed after everyone else left. He and I sat down near Rachel's bed, as her brother told me stories about Rachel when she was little, while she slept soundlessly.

Riu laughed slightly, and spoke.

"She was actually a little miracle, ever since the day she was born," he said. I perked up my ears and listened.

"She was born 7 weeks early. I mean, she was TINY! She was only, like, 6 inches long and weighed 5 ounces." Riu spoke with such humor, as if he's told this story so many times! I was seriously surprised, and let out a slight gasp.

"Really, she was a preemie? But she's so tall now!" I asked him. Riu nodded.

"Yup! The doctors said it'd be a miracle if she lived past a year, but mom and dad didn't give up on her," he said. "Everyone at home, all the participants at church, and every one of our friends prayed for God to make her strong and bless her. Well, Rachel beat death, and ended up growing taller than me in the process!" Riu said, with a hint of humor in his voice. I was surprised that so many people prayed for her. Friends and family, I could understand, but they had people from their church, who they might not even know, praying for them every day! I was literally shocked and astounded.

"I-I can't believe so many people prayed for you guys," I said quietly, playing with my fingers. "I always thought church was full of pussies who judged you about everything you did wrong." Riu shook his head the entire time as I spoke that last statement.

"No no no Silver, of course not," he said. "That all depends on how you look at your situation, and which church you go to. Our church has an entire area set out for teen service. We have an awesome preacher who's young and down-to-earth," Riu said. "And lemme tell you, prayer was the only thing that's kept me sane through these years. Having my daily heart-to-heart chat with God is what helped me make it through every day," Riu replied. "Don't ever short-change the effect praying has on a situation." Now I was curious; I wanted to have an easier life, and if praying to this God helped me get what I wanted, then maybe I could consider?

"You know, Rachel asked me to go to church this weekend," I said. Riu smiled at me kindly.

"Well alright then, I can take you," he said. I was honestly very surprised that he simply accepted it. I expected him to say, "You don't deserve to go," or "You sure you want to?" It made me feel comfortable. I looked over at Rachel, who was still fast asleep. She was smiling, and had her knees pulled up to her chest. She actually looked very... cute. I sighed, and looked back at Riu, who was looking at me. He knew as well as I did that I loved her, but then he spoke with a protective, brotherly sternness to his voice.

"You know, before you have a relationship with God, you have to make sure that nothing is more important and given more attention to, than him," Riu said to me. Now I really didn't know what to say. Does that mean I'd have to give up all of the things I love, including Rachel? As if he read my mind, Riu clarified.

"You can still keep these things that give you joy, as long as you can find a way to use these things to praise God. If you cannot find a way to praise him with it, then it is probably not a good hobby or possession," Riu said. I nodded, though I still had so many questions to ask. I could ask their pastor on Sunday.

Later that night, I sat on the edge of my bed, my mind tossing around so many things. I just couldn't sleep. I moaned, rolled out of bed, and stood up, stretching my arms.

"Maybe listening to some music will clear my mind," I murmured aloud. I went over to my iPod and turned it on, stuffing the white ear buds in my ears. I simply turned it on, put it on shuffle, and lied on my back, back onto the bed. However, the song that came on suddenly made me shoot back into a sitting position. I hadn't remembered downloading this song onto my iPod! I turned it on to see the name and author of the song. It was called "This is Home" by Switchfoot.

I relaxed; oh yeah, it was that one song Rachel had transferred from hers to mine. She told me I'd like it, although I've never listened to it until now. I relaxed onto my bed and listened closely to the lyrics and melody. I could feel my heart swelling and voices in my head, saying "listen carefully, please listen!" as I stared up at the ceiling.

By the end of the song, I was literally in tears. Seriously, I had my face in my hands and I was weeping! I don't even know why I was crying, I just couldn't control it. Right then and there, I could feel God tugging at my heart strings. I got out of bed and knelt down next to my bed. I folded my hands, and I prayed.

"God... I know I've never really been a good son to you, but... Please, I've found the error in my ways! I please pray that you would heal Rachel! I want her to teach me more about you. I want her to know that feeling of pride as she and I walk to church together... I want her to know that she did that... It's all her!" I prayed so hard, as tears spilled down my face. "Please," I spoke again, my voice quavering from my tears and swollen heart. "...Please, don't take her!" I took a deep breath, as I felt something huge being lifted off my chest. "Thank you lord... Amen."

I put my iPod away, and crawled back into bed. I still couldn't go to sleep, but at least that time, it wasn't due to grief. All I knew now was; I couldn't wait for Sunday to come around!


	2. Chapter 2

I stood in the small hospital room, a hand lying on Rachel's forehead. I took her hand in my other one and squeezed it, feeling tears in my eyes.

"Silver?" Rachel said with a terribly weak voice. I knelt down by Rachel and hugged her gently, telling her, "It's ok, I'm right here." Rachel swallowed, looking at me as I hugged her, and she forced herself to speak again. "This was God's plan for me," she said quietly. "I'm… happy. I get to see my father again," she said, quieter. The doctor near us was working with the machine. They were taking her off the life support today, I was the last one to say goodbye; she had no chances of getting better, and Rachel was ready to go. But I wasn't ready to let her go yet, and I couldn't hold back the tears building up in my eyes. I clenched my fists around Rachel's blanket and brought my head down, the tears rolling down my cheeks, and I began blubbering like some kind of baby, in front of everyone else. Rachel shuffled under her covers and placed a frail hand on top of my fist, and I unclenched it, looking up at her with wet eyes. She gave me a sweet little smile, a tear rolling down her cheek, and she spoke to me.

"Please don't blame it on Him; He takes me when He feels like it," Rachel said quietly. I understood; I've been going to church with Riu for two weeks now; but I still didn't know why God had to take her so soon. I sniffled slightly and took her hand in mine, rubbing her knuckles with my thumb.

"I-I know… i-it's just, I'm going to miss you," I said, my voice wavering. I squeezed my eyes shut, while more tears squeezed their way out. "You've been my best friend forever! I-I can't just let you go!" My voice was loud, I didn't mean it to be. My voice was cracking left and right, but I honestly didn't care.

"Silver…" Rachel said calmly, and I calmed down, knowing that's what she wanted me to do. I looked into her blue eyes, those eyes that were normally beautiful, which now harbored no life. I remained silent, and took both her hands now. Rachel looked at the doctor next to her bed. "I'm ready to go," she said weakly to the doctor, who nodded, then she looked out at everyone else. They all looked at her with sad faces, but then Sonic stood forward. Sonic's head was down at first, but then he looked up to look in her eyes, and he spoke.

"You've been a great friend… to all of us," he said, looking back at everyone else. "Take a look, even the 'Ultimate Life Form' Shadow is tearing up," he said, smiling back at Shadow, who sat in the corner. Shadow looked up and quickly wiped at his cheek and turned his head away from them. Rachel chuckled slightly.

"Thanks guys," she said quietly to them, "I love you all."

"We'll see you soon," Sonic said to her, and he knelt down by her and gently hugged her. When he backed away again, Rachel looked up at the doctor and nodded. The doctor stroked Rachel's forehead, whispering "goodbye" to her, and he pulled the plug on the life support machine. I stared at Rachel, tears pouring down my cheeks, as I could just see her decaying in front of my own eyes. Her breathing became labored, and she turned her head to look directly at me. She pulled her lips into a smile and spoke, no louder than a whisper.

"I can see him… he's standing right there," she said weakly. I knew what she was referring to, and I bit my lip. Rachel looked back at me, smiling. "I love you… Silver," she said quietly. My heart tore in two, as the tears began to flow faster down my cheeks, and I replied.

"I love you too," I said. Rachel's grip on my hands weakened, and she stopped breathing. She continued to look at me, until her eyes slid shut, and she died with a smile on her face. I squeezed her limp hand in mine, staring at her, my lip quivering.

"I-I loved you too," I mumbled, and I kissed her forehead gently. I rested my face into my arms, right next to her, and began to cry. Everyone else, besides Riu, left by that time, but I didn't notice.

I sat there, crying onto her bed, until Riu rested a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at him with wet eyes.

"I just can't believe she's gone," I cried. Riu extended his arms out to me, and embraced me in a hug, tears falling down his cheeks too.

"She's in a better place now," Riu said quietly. I sniffled and squeezed him tighter.

"B-But… I loved her," I said quietly. "She was my first love… and now she's been taken from me. Is this God telling me I'm destined to be alone?" I asked rhetorically. But Riu answered me anyways.

"Of course it's not," he said, looking me in the eye. "Silver, Rachel wouldn't want you to grieve for the rest of your life. Sure, she's gone now, but it definitely wasn't because God wanted to cause you pain. These things happen to people all over the world, every day." I hiccupped and wiped at my eyes.

"Then why does he do that? Why does he allow pain and suffering if he can do everything… if he loves us so much?" I asked. Riu took a moment to answer.

"Silver, I honestly think the reason He keeps us on this cursed planed, exposed to all that satin can dish out, is to test us… to see if we truly love him or not," Riu replied. "You see, God wants us to grieve, it's a natural reaction to death, but he doesn't want you to blame others… or Him… for the person's death. He wants us to learn from it, and grow in their faith. If you think about it, He gave up His one and only son, Jesus, who was completely pure from sin, to pay for the sins of all of us lowly sinners. He's made the biggest sacrifice of all." I sniffled and hugged Riu again. After a few silent moments of contemplating what Riu had said, I spoke.

"I don't blame Him," I said, "I-I'll be strong. I know I'll see Rachel again someday, and until I do, I'm going to love God for my whole life." Riu hugged me tightly back, and we both looked back at Rachel's body, tucked nicely into the bed. I let go of Riu and walked up to her bed. "See you in the future, my little angel," I said to her, stroking her bangs. I knew someday I'd see her again, when I too come to the gateway of Heaven. But until then, I felt the urge to go the church for awhile and talk to the pastor. I stood up and headed towards the door.

"Where you going?" he asked me.

"I'm heading up to church for awhile," I said to him. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon," I assured, and I took one last look at Rachel, before I left the room and headed down the hall.

As I drove to the church, a slideshow of Rachel and my greatest times flashed through my mind. The day we first met, as kids, the day I finally asked her out, our first kiss. My eyes began to water up a little again, but I squeezed the tears away.

"No tears, not now," I told myself. "I don't want to be sad anymore. If she's happy, then I'm happy too." The song "This is Home" by Switchfoot began to play in my head as I drove to the church. I concentrated on the lyrics.

"I've got my memories always inside of me  
>But I can't go backBack to how it was  
>I believe you nowI've come too far  
>No I can't go backBack to how it was  
>Created for a place I've never known<p>

This is home  
>Now I'm finally where I belong<br>Where I belong  
>Yeah, this is home<br>I've been searching for a place of my own  
>Now I've found itMaybe this is home  
>Yeah, this is home<p>

Belief over misery  
>I've seen the enemy<br>And I won't go back/Back to how it was  
>And I got my heart set on what happens next<br>I got my eyes wide/It's not over yet  
>We are miraclesAnd we're not alone

This is home  
>Now I'm finally where I belong<br>Where I belong  
>Yeah, this is home<br>I've been searching for a place of my own  
>Now I've found itMaybe this is home  
>Yeah, this is home<p>

And now after all my searching  
>After all my questions<br>I'm gonna call it home  
>I got a brand new mindset<br>I can finally see the sunset  
>I'm gonna call it home<p>

This is home  
>Now I'm finally where I belong<br>Where I belong  
>Yeah, this is home<br>I've been searching for a place of my own  
>Now I've found itMaybe this is home  
>Yeah, this is home."<p>

I pulled into the parking lot of the church and sighed, letting go of the wheel and turning off the car. I just sat there for a few moments, staring out into the parking lot. I swear, it felt like Rachel was sitting right next to me. But of course, I looked to my side and found nobody there. But my mind was telling me, "It's ok Silver, she's with Him now. She's fine."

Now I know/Yeah, this is home  
>I've come too far<br>And I won't go back  
>Yeah, this is home."<p>

* * *

><p><em>The end! *squee!* That was so cute... and sad :( Don't worry, Rachel will magically be alive again for the next story ^-^<em>

_Sorry it took so long to update, I nearly forgot about this one! Hope you enjoyed the story, and thank you for all the sweet comments! God bless you all, and good day!_


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